Radical honesty.  That’s where I had to begin. 

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In 2011, I was a mother to a baby and a toddler,  I was 4 stone overweight, and had a drink problem.

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I thought my desire for wine would disappear when I had my first child in 2009; I thought the huge void I felt would be filled by motherhood.

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Unhealthy relationships, money problems, and another baby later (2011), my life felt out of control.

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At that point I wasn’t drinking at 8am and I’d always try to get at least 1 day a week alcohol free.  But I was desperate to stop drinking and I couldn't. I hated myself. The shame was overwhelming. 

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I longed to stop the madness that I was creating inside me by drinking alcohol but every time I tried, I found another reason to start again: birthdays, a special night out, and stress and anxiety.

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That first drink ALWAYS made me feel better but I just wanted to find a sense of peace. I wanted to be able to trust myself. With alcohol I had no control and therefore I'd lost my integrity and courage.

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I’d quit smoking with Allen Carr’s “Easy way” method in 2007 and by May 2012 I’d quit alcohol too.  My mind became clear, and I started to educate myself, learned many new skills, and started a business. 

 

But, behind my huge smile I was hiding how unhappy I was.

 

In 2017 I started drinking again to try to block out the emotional pain but obviously alcohol only made it worse. I managed to quit again and I was taking anti-depressants and attending relationship counselling.  I was desperately trying to keep my family together. 

 

In May 2021 something changed in me and I knew I had to leave the life I’d created and start again.

​It was scary but I knew I had to " Feel the fear, and do it anyway!"

 

​I'm now training and coaching people, cheering them on to help themselves make positive changes in their lives.  

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I've helped myself through many difficult situations by being radically honest.  I was overweight because I ate too much, I was depressed because I drank alcohol (it's a depressant), I was anxious and sad because I had not dealt with my emotional pain from childhood. I had to think about my thinking and examine my thoughts, feelings and behaviours. I had to change!

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Radical honesty has changed my life and though I continue to make many mistakes and still experience moments of self-doubt, I’m making progress towards my goals and finding joy in just being alive.